That's right ladies and gentlemen (or however you identify yourself as), Lampin' is back and — excuse the cliché — better than ever. We know you missed our semi-monthly, lazily planned posts, but fear not, as we have returned from our brief hiatus and promise to make up for our time missed.
It's been exactly one year since our very first post, and we couldn't think of a better time to get started again. We have some new additions that we'd like to share with you:
We are now on the Twitter just like all the cool kids and The Cool Kids, and pretty damn soon we're going to start up The Lampin' Podcast, so not only do you get to read our incoherent drivel, but you can listen to it too!
In all seriousness, we can't express how excited we are to be back and up and running and shooting the shit on the interwebs. While we're here, let's take a look at some of the things that we have missed since our last post in June:
The Donald Doing The Donald Things
Donald is quickly evolving into a caricature of himself. Whether it's calling leaders of foreign countries "short and fat" on Twitter, NFL players sons of bitches, or bragging about how humble he is — and just about everything else about himself — Donald doesn't show any signs of slowing down.
The Dodgers Choked the World Series
Clayton Kershaw can't shake the postseason stigma off, Jose Altuve is on steroids, and George Springer's Adderall is not fair. LA had plenty of chances to win the series, but as always, the team that executed when it meant the most brought home the hardware. Incredibly entertaining series to watch, especially considering we had no vested interest in either team.
Lonzo Ball Has Changed the Fabric of the NBA
OK, maybe not. Mark my words, 'Zo will be a very good NBA player as long as he doesn't give in to the ridiculous amount of pressure that he is under. Big Bust Brand will not sell.
The NFL Sucks
IT'S CUZ OF ALL THEM INGRATES DISRESPECTING THE FLA — just kidding. Give Thursday night teams a bye week, get rid of the Browns, move the Chargers to London, and let players use THC or CBD instead of jacking them up with Toradol, and you might have yourself a halfway decent league once again.
Big K.R.I.T. Dropped a Fucking Nuke of an Album
Seriously, go and listen to/buy 4eva Is a Mighty Long Time. K.R.I.T. is tragically slept on.
Average price of a gallon of gas: $2.28. Since has gone up to $2.56. Thanks Obama.
On a more personal note, both Nev and myself have recently broadened our very narrow horizons by traveling abroad. Nev spent a month in Europe while I visited Brazil for a week. Suffice it to say, we're way more cultured and generally more knowledgeable than we were since our last post. And to get a better grasp of our newfound snobbery, think of us saying the previous statement with raised eyebrows and closed eyes. Oh yeah, it's that bad.
Nev can be found incessantly complaining about the lack of U.S. public transport, and I am no longer capable of eating food that is 100 percent authentic. Seriously — processed meats and sugars will fucking kill you.
Anyhow, we look forward to supplying you, the faithful reader, with a more reliable stream of content (we've been told that it's king). As always, we appreciate any and all feedback and welcome any topic submissions for us to write about. And be sure to follow us on Twitter to stay up to date. Prost! (Nev picked that one up in a quaint Berlin biergarten)